Friday, March 9, 2012

A Place To Start Over or I Had A Bucket List

I have taken quit a break from life. A big broad stroke against all things that came near me. Just recently I realized it was meant to be. I had a very clear mission and purpose for years. I found joy everyday in what I was doing so well from years of practice but the odd thing is it just gave up one day. If I was honest I would admit it gave up over the course of many long days but the day I really gave up was the day I realized I had checked off the "Bucket List".

I was given notice the day my mother fell really ill. For a year after that I drowned myself in saving her. The second notice was my husband deciding to have an affair so blatant I  recreated my home life to pretend he didn't exist. For so long I just I just kept going, doing what I thought was the right thing, and then I looked at my list,

Become a waiter.... well as a child going to the Benson Hotel..... check
Live alone... at age twelve that was a dream....  done at age 15
Become a fashion designer for bands...  check, age 19
Work in the film business...... check
Wear a work of art.... check
Sell my paintings to real collectors.... check
Own an art gallery..... check
Live in Los Angeles or New York and kick ass.... check
Change a social issue (fight for something I believe in with all of my heart) .... check mate
Golf in Hawaii... done
Hang glide... done
Meet people who challenge the world's thought...... done
Travel always.... the only thing I gave up
Learn everything and be kind while I do........ uh really?
Meet a soulmate.... never really did
Have children to share everything the world has to offer.... a work in progress
Create a domestic nirvana we never had growing up.... must have been drug induced

Well that is a really short version of my list but just accept that it was done by age 31. I gave up on me after that. I had finished my goals and handed it over but guess what....

Mama has a new list

The quiet beauty is folks don't read my blog anymore.... so my children this is a funky mom thing and I love you