The Single Mom's Guide To Sleeping In

For the last thirteen years sleeping was just a fantasy. Something drunk college students were allowed to do with abandon but mom's were held to strict guidelines in my world. If I happened to sleep in the children would certainly perish from lack of nutrition and guidance. It also happens that every team, class and outing starts promptly at 9:30 am Saturday morning. After all in order to be an upstanding member of our great society we must maintain a healthy schedule full of activity and lacking rest.

At some point in your life you may find yourself alone for the weekend practicing "visitation" with dad. You have finally been awarded your rite to sleep in!

First you must stay up late, really late, otherwise your internal clock will think you are joking. To stay awake I suggest you do something you love. For me it is painting and reading and bugging old friends on the phone. I notice I tend to report my progress on Facebook as if the would needed to know I was sitting on the floor playing with old paint.

No need to follow my lead it could be things I don't enjoy so much like knitting or auto mechanics. One thing I would discourage is Farmville, although I have never played it myself I hear some folks become addicted and play for up to ten hours at a time. This will defeat the purpose of actually getting the sleep you need for "in" part. I have also received threats that if I don't tend to some random person's produce I will be responsible for a world food crisis. This does not lend itself to the peaceful nature of this process.

Under no circumstance should you cook or clean. This can lead to night terrors and you may find yourself wide awake at 4 am unable to drift back to sleep because you forgot to unload the dish washer or turn off the iron.

In my case I have dogs who tend to wake me up around 5 am. The solution for me is lock them downstairs with that old baby gate. They will protest but this is where the Benydril (for the dogs) and  headphones (for you) come in. After a short while your dogs will be so drugged they can't bark. To hell with PETA they don't have dark circle under their eyes.

You will wake up at random times worried about the children. To solve this issue I post notes telling me     "the children are not home go back to sleep you idiot"

The last element for success is the alarm clock. Yes, I know what you are thinking, why on earth an alarm clock when the purpose is to sleep with wild abandon? Well, your internal clock will keep waking up to check the time. You want to sleep in not sleep all day, that would be just too Jerry Springer. So I want to at least sleep until 9 am but  past 11:30. So I set my clock for 12. That way it only annoys me in the case of an over sleep emergency. 

To top off your victory I highly recommend coffee in bed.

I Will not Be Defeated!

There are some things we learn in our young adult years that translate in to our settled adult years. For me today it was poverty. Before and during college I would often find myself with near empty cupboards. Independence has a price which doesn't always have a happy marriage with the price of food. I would sift through the random ingredients I had on hand and create dishes palatable enough for me to welcome guests or at least stave off hunger.

Today my day was carefully planned and very full. Part of the plan was to venture out into food land and restock but just around dinner time I found myself rooting around my kitchen for the "I didn't get to the store dinner". This is not the same situation as years past because I have the makings for a lame "sorry family we can cook together another day" dinner. I really needed to have a family dinner complete with the team helping so I quickly assessed and this is what I came up with.

While the frozen fat pork chops were thawing (got them on sale for $2.43 and quickly forgot I froze them) I chopped up the almost ready to toss veggies I found and sautéed the liquid off. The day old half baguette was toasted as bread crumbs, seasoned and tossed with the veggies. They looked a wee bit dry so butter and that left over chicken stock was added to the mix.

The pork chops thawed quickly and were browned, split and stuffed. So I tossed them in the oven and steamed the last of the carrots which were lightly seasoned. OK, a grain, veggies and protein.

30 minutes from start to finish and dinner was ready. While the kids set the table I grabbed a sauce pan to which I added butter, brown sugar, vanilla, frozen peaches from my smoothie stash and orange juice. I left it over low heat while we ate.

Dinner was a success and Stella noted it was so delicious! While we did the dishes we brought the peach sauce to a boil for a reduction and toasted up some angel food cake. My kids have never had this kind of cake and I am not sure why I brought it into the house. Redemption perhaps? By the time the dishes were done the sauce and cake was ready. The kids cleaned their plates.

The entire meal for four people cost me around around $4.30 max. It was nice to use the skills I had learned when I was in a culinary pinch.

Just a Thought...

Today I had a random day of bliss.

I noticed a few things that before were just feelings. You know how you just have a gut response to life? Today gave me words for the feelings I have. A quickly gathered group of friends gave me a peaceful outlook.

If you just let children BE they are surprisingly good at it.

So often we try and control everything about our children. We manage their social lives, food, language and learning. What if we live in a way we believe and allow them the freedom to explore stuff that makes us uncomfortable? I have learned they will always most likely go back to what is right in their family culture if we are true to ourselves.

What if we don't stage photo opportunities for future advertisements about how well we are doing as parents? What if we allow them to create and don't label every project as beautiful. The process is the learning and growth. I did take many photos today. I wanted to post them on flikr for my friends who attended. I studied the whole day as a teacher. Looking back I am so impressed with our children. I am so impressed with us as families. We had no expectations for perfection. We didn't need to impress each other. The outcome was startling.... the kids were engaged and gentle with each other. The parents were relaxed and had so much fun.

Wow, that is hard. It is hard because we are always judged. I wonder who is judging? Usually I find the parent or educator that is so quick to offer advice in a negative fashion has a mess in their own den. As a teacher it is hard to admit weakness but once you do you serve the student because you are open to learning.

Today we all just allowed it to happen. I didn't hear one parent direct a child on which piece of pottery to pick or how to paint it. We didn't have to prove ourselves worthy of our posts so it was relaxed. The children responded with a free joy and I didn't hear one moment of redirection.

Today I saw a peaceful harmonious gathering. We could have picked up on cues from others advice from the past and judged each of us but I found we were all relaxed and enjoying the freedom to just BE.


So the bottom line for me is just let folks be..... kind to each other.. and know we will all be good at what we do.

At Least I can Depend On Some Thingss

My kids are full of surprises. Some are magical and some just, well.......

There are some things I can depend on but wonder why I have to. Today one habit my son has is on my mind.

Why is it empty food containers make it back to the refrigerator with a religious zeal and yet half full are left out to go bad?

Mama does having a baby hurt?

Conversation about birth with my seven year old,

"Mama does having a baby hurt?"

"Well yes but in a different way"

"Do you bleed?"

"Nope not really,"

"How come, I mean a giant baby is getting out of you"

"Well your body stretches out and pops back after. * I left out the sagging skin, hemorrhoids and well the getting used to the new breasts*

" Do boys have that super power?"

" No sweetie they don't have that super power. Only mamas have that super power."

....and why I need a cupcake

In my mind every time life serves up a challenge a perfect cupcake should be delivered to my door via the "Sorry That Is Life Club". Of course I know life is full of joy and sorrow but I find a perfect cupcake is just the thing to pause it all. You can't argue with a cupcake. Its full intention is to bring joy. There is no burden of care or maintenance and even if you don't like to eat cupcakes you can admire the perfection of something so tempting to many. You can throw it away after a brief moment of admiration without guilt.

I have been a member of that club for awhile and have yet to get my cupcake. That is OK with me. I love my life but sometimes I question my qualifications. So tonight maybe I will break out an old family cookbook and make some cupcakes.

Three Cheers For Grasshopper!

Yesterday we found the coolest toy store in North Portland. Grasshopper is packed with so much goodness my kids could have spent the whole day there.

My 12 year old son was swept into the art books and tried his best to convince me to purchase some "for my work", nice try buddy maybe next time.

They also have clothes and I wish they were in my size. I highly recommend folks check out this store or hop on over to their web store!